A story of an immigrant

Hi 👋

I am Virena. I immigrated from Bulgaria to the UK in 2009. Originally I came here to study with the idea of returning back home straight after. For a lot of us that wasn’t the case. Whether it is a job opportunity, time spent travelling or just not ready to leave — life happens. Everyone’s story is unique. So here’s my experience of being an immigrant in the UK.

Let’s take a step back a little. This is not going to be one of those posts where you read a journal of someone’s life with a chronological list of their achievements, failures, losses and bereavements. This is just an opportunity for me to reflect on my experience and start being more open about the ups and downs of settling down in a country that you are not born in.

💁‍♀️ Patriotism

“It don’t look like no new patriotism to me, it looks like blind nationalism”

-“Little” Steven Van Zandt

I used to believe in patriotism. That was a concept around being true to your country. But what does it mean to be patriotic? Well, I believe it’s a spectrum of nationalism that can vary from person to a person. For some Bulgarians, being patriotic means to always seek ‘Bulgarian’ things such as TV, newspapers, food or friend wherever you are. It’s a list of things to surround yourself with and feed into your environment which can make us feel more like home. I do respect our national traditions like the Bulgarians brave icy waters in Epiphany crucifix dive, colouring eggs for Easter and staying at home for Christmas Eve. When I arrive in any country, I arrive with that cultural heritage.

For others, patriotism spans around the idea of being proud of where you come from, being open to sharing your experience, trying to make a systematic change in another country and reduce the stigma around historical biases. To do this, you have to deeply understand the culture you are now geographically part of. I will continue to be on that side of the spectrum as much as possible, in a meaningful way.

I used to be ashamed for many years of where I came from. I know it’s silly. It was some sort of drive of trying to prove to myself that I am truly interested in English culture. To show that I fit in.

Nostalgia

Being patriotic is a mindset. Mindsets are full of biases themselves. We arrive with predisposed opinions for what is good and bad in every aspect of our lives (from food to who is going to be our friend). This can be dangerous.

I found it really difficult to blend with English people at first. Specifically, my first-hand experience with English people was in Southend-on-sea. Once a dreamland of seaside, fish & chips (I mean…YUM) and wonders that Google fed in my imagination, Southend-on-sea was far more different from what I imagined. It was worse. It was full of racist people who had a lot of hatred for the ‘foreigners’. I’ve heard multiple times people from Southend saying ‘That street over there used to be full of white people. Only the British used to live on that street. And now…look at it now. Full of blacks and eastern Europeans’. I was also told not to sit on a coffee table because my accent sounded foreign when I asked “Can I sit here?”. I felt like I was going to vomit. What the actual f*ck????

But if I was to throw myself in the sea on St. Jordan’s day, on the 6th January, like those brave lads from the photo and waving the Bulgarian flag — would that have made any difference?

I often have moments of sadness. In particular, I miss my childhood friends, my family, and the smell of the city where I grew up. Nostalgia is a blessing as much as it is a hardship for people like me who are very connected to their heritage. But I have made my choice to stay in the UK and moments like the one I described above can make my experience a little harder.

I was lucky to have met incredible people in and outside of work who made me feel accepted which I am always going to be grateful for. Thank you, you know who you are. 🙏

🌈 Cultural melting pot

But again, let’s take another step back. Southend was not all bad. I was in uni after all. My fellow students were amazing. It was a massive racial and ethnic melting pot that allowed us to get to know other cultures. I loved every single one of them. I even had an English boyfriend who was really nice and changed my perception of those racist people I mentioned earlier. Meeting all these different people coming from countries from all over the world made me hungry for knowledge and experiences. Their stories were a way of travelling to those places and understanding their struggles as well as experiencing the beautiful cultural traditions that made them who they are. If anything, I realised how much more biases Bulgarians carry with them and tried to break them into pieces and isolate my predisposition of loving and hating certain things such as food or political views.

I was scared of being biased. So I decided to open my heart to everything and everyone. 💜 That’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve learned tons of cool things about Nigerian weddings, Pakistani mountains, Turkish fashion, Greek music, Chinese new year and many more. So after 2 universities, 12 accommodations, being friends with people from 32 countries and 11 different jobs, I am now settled in London. And loving it.

Blending cultures is quite spectacular and I recommend that anyone who wants to learn more about a specific culture drop the travel books and book a flight instead(when you’ve done your COVID test, of course). ✈️

🗺 Where are you from?

The places that we grow up will have an impact on who we are. Of course, it would! What you eat, who you play with, what the weather was like, what language you were taught in school and what parents you had will have a huge impact on how you develop as a person. Where you end up living after continues to define who you become as a human being. It defines your values and moral views on the world.

After 10 years of living in the UK, I now consider myself relatively successful, with a stable career in mental health, live in a nice house, and in a beautiful relationship with someone who I love very much. What more can I want from life? This is it, right?

Wrong.

As humans, we tend to be continuously curious and the more we learn, the more we realise we know nothing. My philosophy has always been to try and aim at something as a way of being continuously stimulated but never give up on being curious about what’s next. This is also balanced with my deep appreciation for what I already have. Specific goals are doomed. When I was 16, I wanted to have a sh*t ton of tattoos, work in a fancy city office, wear high heels and have a PA bringing me coffee every day. THANK GOD that never happened because I don’t like wearing high-heels.

Specific goals can make you obsessed, and sometimes sad. Nothing is predictable. So how can your vision for the future be? Our approach to life can make unpredictable changes digestible, even acceptable and fun. Don’t be harsh on yourself when you don’t get what you exactly wanted because maybe that thing was never meant to happen and there are better things out there for you. Just wait and see. 🔮

Anyway, got carried away again. What I wanted to portray here is that being in one or one hundred places will change who you are. Where you are from is a small fraction of your personality and it shouldn’t be a definition of who you are as a person.

It is proven that the environment we live in shapes you so some things are not really up to us. And that can be unfair for those who don’t have the opportunity to change their environment. We need to be compassionate towards these people. To get out of our comfort zone and understand what their experiences are can be very powerful.

People with biases should take a step back and when they ask someone like me ‘Where are you from?’ is to not assume:

• She is a secret Russian spy
• She could be a prostitute
• Her parents might be part of the Mafia
• I bet she was poor before coming here
• She must like cleaning. A lot.

I am none of these things. I hate cleaning and I praise the Lord for whoever created the dishwasher. I love my nails too much.

When I think of Bulgaria, I think of nature, the food, the people and all its hidden wonders. But this is not to try and convince you to travel to Bulgaria (since you’re so invested in this post, here’s a lil’ top 10 destinations to visit if you do decide to go one day 😁)

It’s a growing tech hub and has a scenic nature. ☀️

Nigel Farage didn’t see these places in his visit back in 2013 where he aimed to find out if his fears about an influx of immigrants when EU restrictions are lifted are justified. He went to the most rural and deprived regions of Bulgaria which must have left him with the idea that everyone flooding the UK will come from those villages. They clearly stated that they would not like to travel to the UK and remain ‘home’. Compared to other immigrants, we are quite a small proportion of the total immigrants in the UK. Today this accounts for 103,000 Bulgarians. Since 1 January 2014, Bulgarians have freedom of movement and work in the United Kingdom as citizens of the European Union which explains the rise in numbers from 2014 till today.

👤 Who do you identify as?

This is a difficult question. It’s important that we truly listen to people’s experiences when they tell you where they are from. This will enrich your view on different cultures and you will always learn something new. I love afternoon tea as much as banitsa. I adore cornish pasties as much as I love Russian salad. Does that make me English or Bulgarian? My taste buds are not biased towards what I like and what I don’t. My passport is a form of identity, but only in a systematic way. The trick is to try and do the same with your consciousness and keep trying new things in order to develop as a person. It’s a never-ending process. You can’t not like a specific ethnic group because of your bias towards that ethnic group. It’s like deeply disliking kimchi without ever trying it.

I identify as me. And that’s enough. Everyone’s story is unique. And so is yours.💪